Cabin Fever

I recently came back from a trip to Norway where I visited Brenda and her husband. I have never been there before and I was totally unprepared for Norway. I mean, I know they have mountains and fjords but I didn’t realised that the whole bloody country is build of it!

When Brenda told me that I have to take a bus and then a ferry, I thought it sounded like a small mini adventure. God, I was so naive.

I flew into Bergen which is beautifully located by the sea and surrounded by mountains. At this point I thought that was picturesque.

I arrived to the central bus stop in Bergen 30 minutes before departure of my bus to Kvanndal ferry station. I felt slightly restless by waiting and as a shopaholic I managed to track down a shopping centre within two minutes of arriving to Bergen. I rushed in, thinking I could find a nice folklore or Viking inspired winter coat. I do like to impress people in London with my Scandinavian dressing style.

I found a shop within seconds and there it was - a bright red coat. I tried it on and it fitted! The shop did actually cater for huge sizes. I bought it and run out just in time to catch my bus. When I settled down in my seat I started to think about the exchange rate and brought the calculator out. I had just bought a blooming coat for £220! Shit, I can’t afford that. In London I could get three coats for that price. Sometimes I get so tired of myself.

To make things worse, when I came home I tried my old coat on and realised that I wasn’t as large as I thought I was so I still fit into it. The whole purchase of a new coat was a waste of my scarce cash.

I had a nice front seat on the bus and enjoyed the view as we passed mountains, fjords and waterfalls. In most countries they run over mountains or around them but not in Norway – here they run through the mountains. I never seen so many tunnels in my life and they can be two kilometres long! The Norwegians are a truly tough people.

It was very beautiful but after 2,5 hours you are getting tired of the winding roads. I was happy to arrived in one piece at Kvanndal ferry station so I could stretch my legs and let my nausea settle down.

I got on to the ferry and enjoyed the fantastic scenery and after 20 minutes I finally arrived at Utne.

Brenda picked me up and finally I had arrived after nine hours travel! Amazing trip in a way, I had used all means of transportation. I walked to Brixton, took a tube to Victoria Station, took a train to Gatwick where I took a flight to Bergen. In Bergen I took a bus to Kvanndal where I took a ferry and finally Brenda picked me up in a car. I was exhausted on arrival.

Brenda’s house was fantastic and the view from her sitting room was amazing.

 

 

When you stepped out from the front door you faced a huge mountain with a waterfall on the top. You could hear the water from the doorstep. Powerful stuff!

On the first day Brenda and her husband had to work so I explored Utne on my own. Obviously it was a bit of a trek since everything in Norway is a trek and needs careful planning and proper outfit, which I didn’t have.

You have to struggle to find enough flat land to make a football pitch! I am not surprised the Vikings chose to conquer the Atlantic, they must have been desperate to find some flat land. I was quite prepared to go to sea myself at this point.

But Utne is a beautiful place.

 

 

However, downtown Utne seem to lack something for a Brixtonian like me. Where is the action?

Utne has the oldest hotel in Norway, closed for the season, a food store with ridiculously expensive food, one restaurant open on odd hours and funny enough a museum! Hardanger Folk Museum. That was all the action so I joined in and visited the museum that showcased traditional folk-dresses and they also had an out-door museum with old houses.

They had a longhouse like the Vikings and it was really cool.

On the Friday night Brenda suggested we go to Jondal for a meal out at the local pizza restaurant. Said and done, we got into the car and drove 45 minutes through the winding roads just to find that the restaurant was closed for the season! It was only to get back into the car and drive back to Utne.

On the Saturday, Brenda and I took the ferry to Kinsarvik where we went for a forest walk. With my short, fat legs I am not able to do more than a stroll. Needless to say we were surpassed by Norwegian couples in full trekking gear marching by in a super speed. They horribly fit those Norwegians and no surprise there when you live in a place where you have to trek to the local shop.

 

 

 

The cabin Fever started to set in. I found myself in the middle of nowhere and I dreaded the long journey back to civilisation. But luckily Brenda worked as a GP and she gave me some motion sickness pills for the bus ride back to Bergen.

In May I fancied myself moving to the countryside but I have now reconsidered that and I am quite happy to stay in my dear old Brixton.

As I came back home I got a nice surprise, all the prams blocking up the entrance hall were gone and the space is like a huge ballroom now.

Maybe a should through a house party in the hallway?